Out of Focus
by Nightmare Unicorn
Summary: 3-Step Plan About How To: Screw Up Your Life 1. Become best friends with the boy next door. 2. Have that boy be named Marcus Butler. 4. Fall in love with your best friend. If I could write a book, it would most definitely be something along those lines. Hi, my name is Teagan Hart, I'm 21, and this is the story of how once upon a time, I used to be happy. Used to be.
1. Chapter 1

**•Chapter 1•**

"Marcus! Let me go!" a little girl's voice shrieked, the faint melody of giggles laced throughout it.

"No way!" the boy, a young Marcus Butler, snickered, his hands locking the small brunettes wrists behind her back. In a struggle, the girl wriggled around, letting out soft and annoyed huffs of frustration.

She finally just gave up and sat still, letting her body go limp, like a little rag doll. "Let me go now Marcus, or I'll tell my mum!" she threatened, craning her neck around to glance at the boy of her age from the sides of her eyes. This seemed to faze the playful lad.

"You wouldn't dare, Teagan."

"Watch me."

After a moment of hesitation, Marcus let go of the smaller girl, Teagan. In that split second of release, she had shot to her feet, her small 8 year old body bouncing up and down.

"Ha!" she chirped and then spun around giggling. A second later, she took off running. Marcus gasped and smirked, chasing after her.

"You can't catch me, Marc!" she laughed, looking over her shoulder. Seeing as Marcus was easily gaining speed and closing the gap between them, Teagan bit her lip and took a sharp turn into the garden, trying her best not to crush any of her mothers precious daisies and orchids.

But, for a moment, she looked back, seeing her fellow neighbor follow her. They were boisterous children, full of energy like any other 8 year olds, or in Marcus' case, he was snickered and poked her tongue out any Marcus. He simply rolled his eyes and sped up, weaving through the plants.

He couldn't catch Teagan! He may be older, but not by much, so therefore, in her mind, he couldn't be much faster. She'd just have to outsmart him! Teagan turned her soft green eyes back in front of her, but not before her foot got caught on a root. She shrieked and flew forward in the mulch, landing sprawled out on the ground beside a stone birdbath her mother had bought a few days ago. She claimed, 'it was spring, so they needed to make it seem like it'.

"Teagan! Are you okay?!" a panicked voice asked, pounding footsteps coming to a halt beside her.

Teagan looked up, tears brewing in her eyes. She had a few cuts and bruises, and here ankle throbbed. No way was she going to cry in front of Marcus. No way!

"Y-Yeah..." she choked out, blinking a few times. Then, she climbed up to her feet, wincing a bit at the pressure on her right ankle. She looked down and frowned, seeing as she had uprooted a light purple orchid. A look of horror flashed across her face and she turned to Marcus.

"We have to fix it! Mummy is going to be angry!" she squeaked and dropped to her knees. Marcus came to her side in an instant, mimicking her actions of clawing at the soil and, mulch mixture, desperately attempting to replant it.

Though, the sound of a door opening caused them both to freeze in the midst of their actions.

"Marcus? Teagan? What are you doing out there?"

And of course they would get caught. Teagan got caught for practically every little thing she did wrong. What she learned from those past experiences, if anything, was to just go with the flow.

"Um... I may have tripped and ripped up one of the flowers..." she squeaked, her voice small and vulnerable. In the meantime, Marcus sat there, nervous and awkward. He was an awkward kid, what can you say?

Teagan looked up, meeting eyes with her mother, Victoria Hart. She seemed frustrated and annoyed, a heavy sigh escaped her as she lifted her fingers to her temple.

"Alright, both of you inside. Now." she tiredly, yet sternly instructed. Neither of them hesitated to scramble to their feet and scurry back inside, squeezing by Teagan's mum.

This was a way of life for the two of them, Marcus and Teagan. They underwent everything with each other; punishments, adventures, mischief. They were truly the definition of best friends.

Teagan had moved next door to the boy when she was 3, having moved from Santa Monica, California. Of course, she has remembered nothing but England. She has remembered having no other best friends other than Marcus.

Her mother was a hard working single mum, her father having left them when she was an infant. It really helped her growing up without knowing him, it made it easier to cope with the fact she didn't have a fatherly figure around. Though, reality did hit her sometimes, and even for a child, she wondered why he left. Anyway, Teagan's mother worked at the local diner during the afternoons, and after that, she always stayed out late. Honestly, she wasn't sure why, but just went with it. Teagan usually just went to Marcus' house anyway to wait for Victoria to come home.

"Do you think she'll be upset?" Marcus squeaked, looking rather worried.

Teagan snorted and crossed her arms. "No. She'll probably forget or just plant another." she replied diligently. Marcus looked somewhat uneasy, but nodded anyway. "Come on Marcus," she groaned, carrying out the 'on'. "...you need to quit worrying so much!" she chirped with a grin and grabbed his hand, scampering to the kitchen.

She went to the counter and dug through some drawers until she found what she was looking for. She had made them a couple of friendship bracelets that Mrs. Butler had taught her. They were completely identical. Yellow, green, and purple strings all neatly braided into a thick bracelet.

Teagan turned around and smiled, handing one to Marcus.

"Here." she said.

Marcus stared at the bracelet for a moment in confusion, and then looked at her.

"What is it?"

"It's a friendship bracelet. I made it. This way, we'll be friends forever!" she sang happily, a sparkle in her emerald green eyes. When Marcus just seemed to think for a moment, she sighed and rolled her eyes.

"You're supposed to put it on your wrist." she said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Well... it kind of was.

"I knew that." he mumbled.

Too late. Teagan grabbed his hand and wrapped the strings around his wrist loosely, but enough so it wouldn't slide all the way off. She smiled and looked at it, admiring her work.

Marcus looked at his small wrist, turning it a few times to examine the piece of new jewelry. A small smile came on his face and he looked up at Teagan, eyes bright. "Let me do yours!" he said.

He snatched the bracelet off the counter and wrapped it around Teagan's wrist, his tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth in concentration as he struggled to tie the string securely in place, But, eventually he made it work. A smile flashed across both of their faces, and they looked up at each other. Marcus grabbed Teagan's hand and lifted it up in front of bother of their faces.

"Now we'll remember we're best friends forever." she said happily.

"I wasn't ever going to forget."

**Hi guys! **

**I've had a new addiction... YouTube. And it just so happened that I found these YouTubers: Alfie (pointlessblogtv) Marcus (marcusbutlertv) Jack and Finn (jacksgap) Zoe (zoella) Joe (thatcherjoe) Caspar (dicasp) Joey (joeygraceffa) and SO MANY MORE! It was so hard to pick one to write about, and I almost did Alfie or Joey... but I thought y'all might like Marcus. **

**I'm really praying that I will actually finish a fanfic, because I normally delete it after a while if I don't get any feedback. So, remember if you like it, to COMMENT AND YEAH ALL OF THAT FUN SHTUFF. I promise you, these ANs will get a hella lot more interesting. Yessssss GOODBYE CHILDREN.**

**-Jess**


	2. Chapter 2

**•Chapter 2•**

"Oh my gosh, we were so clumsy..." I laughed as the video of me and Marcus running around the garden finished. We were younger, I was 8 and Marcus 9. That was the day I gave him the bracelet. Absently, I fingered the strings around my wrist, a faint smile on my face. Speaking of Marcus, I was seated right beside him on the couch at my house. Mum was out as usual, so we decided to pass the time by watching old videos.

"You still are." he teased, playfully nudging my shoulder. I laughed and smacked his arm, rolling my eyes playfully. A small strand of hair fell in front of my green eyes and I easily brushed it away.

"Shut up. Last I remember, I wasn't the one who fell down the stairs." I retorted. Funny story actually. When Marcus got here this afternoon after school, he had gone upstairs to use the toilets, and then on the way down fell down the last few steps.

"That was one time." he scoffed.

"Uh huh, just give it a few days."

I laughed and got up, switching off the DVD player. We had grown up a lot since then, being 17. Well, Marcus was 18, but whatever. He didn't always act like it.

"I'm getting food!" I called, scampering over to the kitchen and straight to the cupboards, rummaging for food. Footsteps behind me signalled my buddy followed, the little bugger.

"Why yes Teagan, I would love some food, thanks for asking." Marcus sarcastically spoke. Another roll of my eyes.

"Nobody asked you."

"Wow Teag, I'm hurt." he gasped, placing a hand over his chest where his heart was. He was such a drama queen sometimes, but you learn to deal with it.

"Nobody likes you either."

"Ouch, low blow."

"It's just how I roll."

I finally found what I was looking for after a couple of minutes. Some crackers. Simple, yet appetizing. A delighted grin lit up my face.

"Aha, here we go!" I chirped, turning to the table and sat down in one of the stools by it. Greedily, I ripped open the package and munched on one. Well, I might as well be a good best friend and give one to Marcus... I turned the pack toward him and he gave me a disgusted look.

"I don't want any of your filthy crackers." he spat. sitting down with a pout. I arched an eyebrow, eyeing him in an odd manner. The simplest twitch of his lip gave away his horrible acting.

This is the thing about us. We knew each other so well, to the point that the slightest physical movement made it easy to read each other like an open book. Sometimes, I even felt that I could tell what he was feeling. Weird, I know, but he was basically my brother so what can you say?

Marcus' eyes flickered from my hard stare to the crackers. I was trying to get him to give in, and he was trying to fight it. I guess neither of us tried very hard, because he broke and sighed, reaching for one of the crunchy snacks. I grinned and fist pumped the air.

"Yesss! I win. Loser. Ha." I teased poking my tongue out at him energetically. He just laughed.

"No, I just wanted a cracker." he protested.

"No, you're just a weak little boy." I snickered.

Marcus rolled his eyes with a smile, lifting his hand to his head and running his fingers through his hair, pulling it up in its messy style. But it suited him well, so it wasn't all too messy. A styled messy. A good messy. "Shut up, I'm stronger than you." he mumbled, smirking at me.

I arched a brow and chuckled. "Oh really? Prove it Butler." I challenged, standing up. He stood up as well and stared at me, a mischievous look in his eye. Almost immediately, I regretted my decision.

"You asked for it." he pointed out, smiling. Then, he grabbed me by my waist, threw me over his shoulder, and ran into the living room, laughing like a maniac. At his sudden attack, I burst out laughing, a startled shriek escaping my lips. He just loved messing around with me, hm? Well, that's probably why we're best friends.

I continued to laugh, smacking his back repeatedly, begging to be put down. "Marcus! Let me go!" I giggled.

He didn't say anything and just scampered over to the living room again and sighed, flopping back on the couch and squishing me in the process. Real mature. The soft and sneaky smile that curled his lips upward made me roll me eyes in which he laughed. "Y'know." he said, letting go of me and flipping over so he was basically lying on me. "Your eyes are gonna get stuck like that." Then, he poked my cheek teasingly.

I lightly and playfully pushed him. "That's a risk I'll take." I chuckled before wriggling out from under him. Honestly, he weighed a ton, but not in a bad way.

"Lets go to the mall." Marcus blurted, out of the blue.

"Why the mall?"

"Because, I'm feeling spontaneous. Plus, I don't want to stay here having you harass me all day."

I gasped and smacked his arm. "I'm not the one harassing you! You were harassing me!" I protested.

Marcus arched a brow, crossing his arms and tipping his head to the side, as if saying 'really'. I smirked and mimicked his stance. The boy just laughed and shook his head.

"You're hopeless Teagan."

"I try. Just for you."

With that, he just laughed, grabbed my keys off the counter, and we headed out to my car. Basically, it looked like he was driving. Well, way to give me a chance to drive my own car. Then, after a few minutes of getting settled, grabbing my phone and money, we set off.

**Hiiiiiii, **

**Here's chapter two of Out of Focus! Enjoy! Don't forget to comment !**

**-Jess xx**


	3. Chapter 3

**•Chapter 3•**

"Holy shit! You're gonna kill me!"

The booming laughter of Marcus ran through the market, along with the rusty clink-clank of the trolley's wheels. On the way to the mall, Marcus had decided we should stop by to 'grab the basic necessities of life'. In other words, he wanted me to buy him candy. Shocker, right?

But, since I refused, he had decided it was the best idea to hold me hostage in a trolley and run around the market like a mad man while my life flashed before my eyes.

"Live a little Teag!" he scolded with a snicker.

I glared threateningly at him and then shrieked, curling back up in a ball at the bottom of the trolley in order to keep myself from flying out when Marcus took a sudden turn down another aisle. I think he's purposely going down every freaking isle despite the fact I was gonna kill him when I got out of this death trap.

"I'm not going to be able to 'live a little' if I'm dead!" I snapped. This comment just seemed to amuse him, making him laugh more.

"You're such a drama queen."

"It's not 'drama' it's reality."

At the sound of my dead serous tone of voice, Marcus made a big deal of groaning and coming to a stop. The boy flashed me a pout and trudged over to to put the empty trolley away after I climbed out, shoulders slumping over in defeat.

I snickered and crossed my arms, arching a brow. "Who's the drama queen now?" I shot at him with a chuckle.

"King." Marcus corrected me, pointing at me accusingly. I simply pretended to think and shook my head, turning my eyes back to him.

"No no, definitely a queen."

And with that simply sassy remark, I was lifted off my feet again and thrown over a muscular shoulder. If I've learned anything at all with Marcus, it was to not complain. Though, I did it often just in spite of him, it just fueled his fire. Yippee.

• • •

After another kidnapping session, we finally reached the mall. Good, I didn't think we would ever make it here.

"Hey Teagan?" Marcus asked me, unusually calm.

I looked at him skeptically, searching his eyes for any scraps of mischief. Nope, nothing.

"Yeah?" I responded, pivoting on my heel in order to look at him while I spoke, therefore resulting in me walking backwards; a skill I have, nor will ever master.

That devious smile I was looking for suddenly broke across his face. Good Lord.

"I bet I can beat you to Top Shop!" he said, suddenly sprinting off.

"No fair! You got a head start! Marcus freaking Butler!" I cried, dashing off after him. Being smaller and lighter than him, I easily caught up, though struggled to keep the pace since his legs were longer. I giggled and rammed my shoulder into his roughly when we reached the escalators, squeezing in front of him and racing up the steps, tripping up a couple times. I could hear his amused laughter behind me as I did, and so that was my designated time to flip him the finger, resulting in more laughter.

"You're not very scary Teagan. Quit trying." a voice whispered in my ear, causing me to curse. He had snuck up on me, and lightly pushed me back, hard enough for me to stumble but quickly regain my footing.

"Cheater." I muttered beneath my breath, picking up the pace. But, of course, Marcus had sprinted past the two stores that led up to Top Shop, leaving me to lose.

"Victory!" Marcus cheered with laughter, completely out of breath. Though, he still fist pumped the air. I simply pouted and grabbed his hand, towing him off inside, leaving him chucking.

I wove my way through racks of shirts, stopping on one and picked out a cute shirt. It was a peachy colour, sheer, and loose. It was sleeveless with a colloar that was lined with golden studs. It buttoned in the front with those exact gold studs. I grinned and held it up to my torso, looking to my friend for advice. "What do you think? Does it scream 'Teagan! Buy me!'." I asked curiously.

"Nah, I'm thinking the teal." a voice behind me said, which clearly wasn't Marcus. I spun around, clearly surprised.

"Caspar!" I squeaked, grabbing the blonde boy in my arms and squeezed him in a hug. I met Caspar through Marcus, who met him through a close friend of his; Alfie Deyes. The South African lad was another close friend of mine.

"Hi Tater." he chuckled, hugging me back softly whilst using the nickname he gave me. Apparently, being a smaller framed girl, and standing next to him I was insanely small, since he was insanely tall. Plus, I had an odd obsession with tater tots back then.

"I though you were visiting your mum?" I asked skeptically.

.

"Yeah, but I got back in yesterday. Alfie dragged me out to 'socialize'." he responded, air quoting the last words. That made me laugh. I felt a hand on my wrist, tugging me away from Caspar.

Marcus chuckled, "Whoa there Caspar. Back off of my best friend. You've been back for one day." he teased the South African boy. In the meantime, Caspar shot us a cheeky grin and shrugged.

"Well, they don't call me a slut for nothing." he joked, flashing me an over exaggerated wink in which I returned. Insider. You wouldn't get it.

Suddenly, a thought hit me. "Wait, you said you came with Alfie? Where's he?" I asked, perking up at the sound of another friend. As you may know, I'm a rather social person. There's no denying that.

"Caspar Lee! Don't make me buy one of this kiddy leashes!" a familiar voice called, no doubt Alfie. To prove my point, a head of dark hair came visible from around the corner. Once again, I was proven the short one. He was massive like Caspar.

"One of those little monkey ones? Mate, that would be sick!" Caspar laughed, which caused Alfie to burst out in a fit of his contagious laughter, which made me and Marcus laugh as well.

Marcus spoke up, walking over to stand beside Caspar. "No need to worry Alfie. We kept an eye on him." he teased, giving Casper one of those playful shoulder punches.

I will never understand why people do that in a friendly way.

I tucked the top back away on the rack, turning back to the three boys. I felt so little, I didn't like it. Although, that's usually how it is. Nah, who am I kidding, that's how it always is.

Alfie ran his fingers through his hair, leaning up against the pillar that was beside him. "Well, if we're all here, should we all go grab lunch?" he suggested.

The other three of us looked at each other before shrugging. "Food sounds nice. I enjoy food." I said with a determined nod before walking past them, not waiting for other responses. Yes, I was hungry.

And you don't argue with a hungry Teagan.

**Hiiiiii, kind of just a filler chapter, I'm not too happy with it. But oh well, some more fun/drama stuff is coming up soon! Give me some feedback, or predictions on what you think is going to happen later!**

**So, comment!**

**-Jess xx**


	4. Chapter 4

**•Chapter 4•**

"Hurry up you three! Don't you know to never keep a girl waiting!" I called, impatiently tapping my TOM clad foot against the tiled ground. Marcus, Caspar, and Alfie were currently making there way toward the entrance to a cute little diner we had found down the road, no doubt as slow as possible. Or, at least it felt like it.

We had all decided -after boundless bugging from none other then moi- to ditch the mall after stopping by MAC, myself dragging Marcus through the beauty shop while the other boys explored the kiddy playground. Typical. They found chaotic children the most amusing things ever.

Alfie simply laughed and threw his arm over my shoulder, practically leaning his whole weight on my shoulders. "Calm down, love. You'll get your food eventually." He chuckled with that dorky smile of his. I couldn't help but laugh, he could always lighten the mood.

"Yeah Teagan. Chill." Marcus bluntly stated with a smirk, playfully bumping his shoulder into mine as he brushed past us along with Caspar to the double doors leading into the restaurant. I rolled me eyes and followed suit beside Alfie- the nice one.

Okay, the wanted to be that way? Fine, I could play dirty. A mischievous smirk begun to crawl it's way across my lips, but I forced it back after slipping away from the boys and toward a waiter as they got a booth near a window.

And a rather... different... older woman sitting a few booths down by herself.

This lady was going all out. I mean seriously. She was so tan she looked like a shriveled piece of bacon, wore more makeup than I've owned in a lifetime -including sparkly teal eyeshadow- , too tight of an orange tube top that I don't think they even sell in teen sizes, and some black workout pants. And the best part? Her hair was a bright orange, which went perfectly with her pink leg warmers.

You find the most interesting people sometimes, let me tell you.

As I approached the waiter, I made sure to peek over my shoulder to make sure the boys weren't looking. And, just to be safe, I stood behind a plant.

"Excuse me? Hi, sorry to bother you, but could you please do me a favor?" I asked sweetly, though the evil glint no doubt shining in my eyes clearly gave away the fact I was up to something.

Got that right buddy.

• • •

A couple of minutes later, I slipped into the cherry red booth beside Caspar and looked straight to the menu, a small smile on my face. The boys all exchanged a wary glance, they knew what I was capable of.

"What have you done?" Marcus questioned accusingly, narrowing his eyes as I peered down at the menu. Ever so innocently, I turned my gaze up to him.

"What? Nothing." I told him.

Marcus didn't press on. He just shot me one last questioning look and looked back down. We had all gotten our drinks, Alfie a simple Pepsi, Caspar a Pepsi, and Marcus and I a glass of water.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the waiter coming with a frothy pink drink with an umbrella stuck in the side.

Straight to their table.

"Here you go, sir." The waiter said with a smile, sliding the glass to a confused looking Marcus.

After looking from the glass to the waiter a few times as I suppressed my laughter by burying my face in the menu, he said, "I'm sorry, but I didn't order this." Then, Marcus lifted the chilled drink from the table to the waiter, who set it back down.

"I know, but she did."

And then the person the waiter, who's name tag read 'Will' nodded to the elderly lady.

Okay I lost it there.

The way all three of their eyes widened and instantly turned to the clueless lady was priceless. Will then shot me a smirk that thankfully nobody noticed before walking away. Alfie seemed to understand, and being the cheeky lad he was went along with it, laughing.

To top it off, I tore off a strip of the napkin, grabbed a pen from my hand bag, and wrote down my number so he would understand the prank with a little 'xoxo' and pressed my freshly glossed lips to it before handing it to Alfie, gesturing for him to give it to Marcus. Caspar noticed this and smiled, snatching it from Alfie's grasp.

"Oh, Marcus, you seem to have yourself a little admirer." The blonde boy chuckled, handing the slip of paper utterly terrified looking Marcus. He kept glancing at the lady, which made a new set a laughter roll off my tongue. Poor boy.

"What?" He asked, snatching the napkin from Caspar. His eyes scanned it and then his features seemed to relax. Then, he crumpled the paper up and tossed it at me. Okay, he got it.

I burst out into a fit of laughter as he laughed as well.

"You scared the shit out of me you little idiot!" Marcus laughed, causing me to throw my arms up to deflect the wad of paper. It bounced right off and I poked my head out with a smile, sticking my tongue out at him ever so childishly.

"Good. You deserve it." I huffed, crossing my arms defiantly, though my cheeks were still a pinch rosy from laughing so much.

Marcus rolled his eyes at my behavior, though he smiled.

"Shut up."

• • •

After lunch, we had all gone to the park and screwed around with some pigeons for a bit, no doubt being some kind of illegal public disturbance. I don't know. Then, we headed back to the town square and shopped even more.

Me, being the little fashionista I am, got an adorable pencil skirt that was black with white and orange Aztec prints on it. Also, I tossed my money out the window for a new handbag, which the boys thought was stupid but hey: what do they know about being a girl? We need these things, right?

So, that all lead up to where we were now. We were all spread around Alfie and Caspar's living room after retreating back to their shared house. Roomies.

"So, what are we gonna do?" I asked from my spot on the floor, just casually spread out across the rug between the coffee table and sofa. In the meantime? All of the other boys were either sitting on a couch, or sitting in a recliner. I was just the odd one.

Figures.

This time, Caspar spoke up with a simple shrug. "What about just staying in for a movie night or something?" He suggested. Sounded good to me truthfully, I loved movies. They were so relaxing.

I shrugged, shifting my position so I sat up, my back leaning lazily against Alfie's legs. He was just slouching in the reclining chair, munching away on a bag of salt and vinegar crisps. "I'm down." I agreed with a nod.

"Me too." Marcus piped in from his spot on the other end of the couch.

Alfie simply shrugged, silently agreeing.

"Then it's settled. Movie night it is. What do you want to sta-"

"Perks Of Being A Wallflower!" I cried, shooting to my feet and dashing to the movie shelf. No way was I going to be stuck watching some kinky film or a freaking horror that would give me nightmares within nightmares. The three groaned, but knew not to mess with my wonderful choice. Good idea boys.

I rummaged through each am every film until I found the familiar green box. I popped open the DVD followed by the player and large TV, and then turned off the lights for the full movie theatre effect. Then, I settled down on the couch between Caspar and Marcus. I pulled my knees up to my chest and then wrapped my arms around my legs. Finally, I let loose a satisfied sigh as the movie started and rested my chin atop my knees.

Everybody began settled down, relaxing as they got engrossed in the film. What can I say? It's impossible to avoid getting caught in the twisting, turning story.

***

**Hi guys!**

**I hoped you liked this chapter. It was kind of just there to lead up to the good stuff. I promise you, the next chapter will be starting some... stuff. I'm not gonna tell you what though (: **

**Random: GUYS! I LEARNED HOW TO SURF TODAY! I suck, but I still learned. Fortunately, there were no hot beach guys around to witness my epic failures I including face planting in the water. Phew. BUT I STOOD UP FOR TWO SECONDS AND ITS MY FIRST DAY! :D YAY! Any tips? :3 **

**So comment, etc etc etc!**

**-le Jess xxx**


	5. Chapter 5

**•Chapter 5•**

_|Marcus' POV| _

'We accept love we think we deserve.'

I've seen this movie millions of times with Teagan, but this line, this set of wise words all strung together, has never hit me like it has now.

We accept love we think we deserve.

Some people may be confused by it, but almost immediately it untangles itself in my mind, revealing it's meaning. If we make ourselves believe we've done something to deserve the love we want, it's natural for us to welcome it with open arms. But is it really the love we need? People could go their whole lives, telling themselves they love somebody when the real meaning of love is right in front of them, they just don't want to believe it.

In a way, I could relate with Charlie. We both love somebody that we can't have. In his case, Sam is three years older and headed off to college to finally start her life. But, he's willing to let her go in order for her to be happy. All Charlie's wanted this whole time was for her to be happy. This boy would do anything to protect his friends, even if it meant he had to hurt others to do it. Unintentionally of course.

It was a one sided love.

Meanwhile, there was me. My best friend since we were three, I'd do anything for her. She's convinced me to eat a cup of dirt when we were five. She's made me smile since we were ten. But mostly? She's made me love her since the beginning. As cheesy as this is, I've gone my whole life from having a little school boy crush on this girl to realizing why my feelings haven't changed in the long run. Like Charlie, I've had feelings for my best friend from the beginning. And I'm not scared to admit it to myself. To Teag, yes, I'm terrified.

In this way, Charlie and I are alike. We both had one sided loves that we couldn't help but go along for the ride. We both would do anything to make her smile, make her laugh, cheer her up on the darkest of days. We would do anything in our right mind to make her happy.

And seeing her right now, curled up next to me with her eyes fixated on the screen, I knew everything would turn out for the better in the end, whether this love would become mutual or not. Though, it killed me seeing her body lean the other way against Caspar, with her head rested on his shoulder, I knew she was happy and content. It was a completely innocent act, completely friendly as far as I knew, but it still could drive me insane.

Some days, I love the effect she has on me. Being around Teagan was like a drug, it made me feel as light as a feather. Though, others it was a curse. Seeing her like this, it killed me. But, I just had to suck it up and keep moving on in order to keep the peace.

With my eyes sneaking in glances at Teagan every now and then, I noticed her stunning emerald eyes glue to the screen as she mouthed those eight words;

We accept the love we think we deserve.

If only she knew...

• • •

_|Teagan POV|_

This movie literally was my life. It was so precious and amazing you have no idea. It was crazy how deep it could get, leaving me in a trance.

I had comfortably curled up on my side, cuddled up to Caspar. We were literally like brother and sister. So, it was completely innocent. My head rested on his shoulder and I was curled up by his side while his long arm wrapped around me, pulling me closer. It was quite cold in their flat,  
so I was basically using him gor South African slut warmth. Y'know, the usual.

Then, suddenly one of my favorite parts came on, and my eyes widened as I mouthed the quote.

We accept love we think we deserve.

For some odd reason, I loved this. The words held so much power, you should be tentative as to when to use them. And in the context of the movie, it was absolutely perfect. I honestly wish I could wrap my mind around it.

The concept of love confused me. Personally, I've never been in love. So, I think you need to have experienced it to get the full effect of that sentence, but it still held more meaning that you could ever imagine.

The movie continued on and I was entranced. Charlie continued his story, and when it reached the part when he was hearing all of his memories, having those flashbacks, I could feel a few tears rol ldown my cheeks leaving warm trails behind them. For being somebody who's seen this movie, this scene, countless times it still had an effect over me. It was heartbreaking to think a boy, fifteen, had to go through all of what he did.

I could feel Caspar chuckle, and I glared up at him, wiping away. Tear hastily.

"Shut up you dick wad. It's emotional." I growled, and then turned back to the movie. I could hear Marcus laugh softly beside me. Meanwhile, Alfie was dead to the world. How the hell you can fall asleep during this movie beats me. I was going to have a stern talk with that boy when he got his ass in gear.

Caspar suddenly leaned down to whisper to me, "What's your favorite line?" he asked.

I couldn't help but look up at him, meeting his blue eyes in confusion. Since when was he actually interested in the movie? I thought though, searching through my brain for all of the lines and then I chose one.

" 'So I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them.' " I responded. It was by far my favorite quote, because it explained my life perfectly.

I have always been the kind of girl that didn't know what to do with herself. I thought I'd never grow up, and to be honest? I still haven't. So I've always thought about how I don't really know who I am. I'm Teagan Hart, yes. But who am I? I'm not the model. I'm not the singer. I'm not the scholar. I'm just... me. But, I neer really knew if that's ever going to be enough.

Caspar thought for a moment as if to digest what I had said. Then, he smiled and nodded, looking back at the screen, intently listening.

It's funny how much this movie could make you think. How deep it could get. It opened up new doors and pathways to emotions you never knew existed. Frankly, after it I always end up sleeping. It works my brain to the brink of exhaustion.

A while into it, almost to the end, I guess my brain hit shutdown a bit earlier. I could feel my eyes getting heavier and heavier until they just drooped shut. Yeah, time to get some sleep I think... The hands of sleep slowly crushed me in a fist, dragging me to me dreams, the feeling as light as a feather.

And in that moment I swear I was infinite.

**Hiiiii,**

**I know it's short. But it is freaking 11:30 pm right now and I have to wale up early tommorow xD I think this chapter was deep enough to make up for the length. Honestly, I will admit I was running on empty... My tummy is making the rumblies as well :P**

**So, there's some Marcus thoughts for ya, and some cute caspar/teagan moments. Whaddya think?**

**#taspar**  
**#teaspar (very british sounding hehe)**  
**#ceagan (xD i dunno.)**

**Pick one. Or,**

**#tarcus **  
**#meagan **

**Wtf, these are some goddamn deranged ship names. **

**If yo have any ideas comment them belowwww xD or some up with some better ship names.**

**Comment!**

**-Jess xx**


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